“God sometimes is being Mean. Seriously, I feel that pain!”, texted my patient, a wonderful 40 plus year lady when I texted her NICC report. Having undergone 2 previous IVFs and having 2 boys, she never had imagined that she would become pregnant again naturally! She found herself suddenly pregnant, at a difficult stage in her life, when she was totally unprepared! The first time I met her she said when I desperately wanted a child every one told me that I can’t conceive naturally and I had to spend a large amount of money, not to mention the amount of mental stress to get pregnant. Now, this happens! WHY??? I had no answer!
Being a vegetarian, just because she hated the idea of killing animals, she found herself caught in between the thoughts of termination versus continuing the pregnancy- a true moral dilemma! Though continuing the pregnancy would add extra financial constraints, her motherly instinct repelled the thought of termination and she decided to pursue. Having had 2 boys earlier, she had hoped for a girl, to give her a glimmer of hope and joy in her unexpected journey of pregnancy. But that was not to be as her chromosome screening report stated it was a boy, AGAIN!
The day I texted her report, I was just back from a difficult surgery for a recurrent ectopic pregnancy. She was a lovely lady, who had been just married for a year. Had just undergone a surgery for ruptured ectopic 2 months back. She had come to me for a second opinion for recurrent ectopic. Her Bhcg titre had declined slightly initially and she was absolutely asymptomatic. We had hoped for a conservative management under close observation for a tubal miscarriage. But again, that was not to be! Her BHcg started soaring up and not only did she have to undergo a surgery again in a short span of only 2 months but also lost her other tube, precluding any possibility of a natural pregnancy thereafter!
“God sometimes is being Mean.” This text lingered in my thoughts! Being a firm believer in the universal, supramental consciousness, that most of us call God, I wondered….
I had always believed and still believe that everything happens for the greater good! We humans have a limited vision that can only go so far and may not understand the grand scheme of things, in the unlimited vision of the universe! Who knows… the unwanted child of today may well turn out to be the most successful entrepreneur, a powerful leader or a famous person bringing glory to the family! And, for the lady who lost her tubes, she could have a successful single or even twin pregnancy through IVF! Only time can tell!
For now, I still believe in goodness of “GOD”, though for some it would mean viewing the world with a pair of tinted glasses!
So, what do you think… IS GOD MEAN?
